and then...production

is a thing. a noun-thing.

I spent the last three days taking footage for a short film. I've never made a short film but there's a first time for everything. So I did that and I've got to edit it, and schedule a ten hour write in this week, and I'm still full-time studenting and the like. 

Anyway I've relearned sleep again to accomodate my work needs these days. I take frequent naps and sleep very little at night. You do it often enough and you can train your body to sleep and wake exactly when you intend. I used to be perfect at it; still retraining. I take roughly three to five hours of solid sleep at night, and three to six 20 minute naps during the day. I won't need an alarm soon. It keeps me far more active; I haven't needed caffeine in days. 

People expect change by arbitrary means. A new year doesn't mean a new anything on its own. If you want your life to change radically you must be radical. But no, everyone's too afraid and whining about what they're going to lose. If you're yourself and doing what you love you can't possibly lose anything. You just get more space for more things and more people what are better for you. 

Saw The Machinist. It ought to be a graphic novel. Very vintage creepy. I was initially disappointed because it thwarted my expectations, but I have since come to realize that the purpose of the film is to convey a state of mind and it does that flawlessly, I think. I have to see it again. But it got me emoting something fierce and there wasn't a one who would cuddle me. Living where I live is strange. Living is strange. Death is stranger. 

The script from my short film is adapted from my blog posts over the last several months. I will post it here when I've finished the editing and production etc. 

and then...moon

I watched Goodbye, Lenin! and cried hard. Like where are those heroes hiding?

No surprise that such an Alan-looking-actor is Spanish born :D I slipped alone into a farm today, just I and animals, and while the sun set colorful the moon rose enormous and they faced each other exact for a moment. 

Where are you? Can you hear me? Do you know me? Are you a memory?

Can't wait to leave the school where I'm stuck. Wrote a three page paper in half an hour, I'm always finishing things the moment before and they don't know the difference. Finally bothered my landlord enough today to get that screen in my window, already. It's only been all year. and it doesn't fit but there you go. And things besides it must be just in time for spring

is running water is running water? I'm exhausted clear. I need a non focus digital camera. everything should be in focus all the time. 

Started a new art journal for a consolidated healing plan but I've barely got time to touch it. Touching is good, though. Ideas generate with tactility.

I watch characters like Alex Kerner (mygodhowmanyalexsareinmypersonallonginglexicon) and there's a kind of soaring you can't imagine. And with the farther and longer I have Cope Syndrome the more in control this soaring is; like yes that's him, I know him, I have him, I am him. So it's only a matter of time now before one of them happens to me. He gets closer all the time, sleeves wristing. 

 

and then...party

what I haven't been to in so very, very long. So when a friend tells me she's got a birthday dinner I spend hours getting ready; hair makeup nails new dress the whole bit. And what a lovely time was had. 

 

Warning now. a warning now. This is my calm before the storm. APRIL.

Raise your hand if you don't think that April is the busiest month of the year. Anyone?

Eight papers due and a new portfolio to put together and eight transcripts and a handful of recommendation letters, some to request and some to write, two jobs to pick up and a part of the novel to finish and a healing plan to start and thank God that April is a spring month. It's a frantic nonstop with remembering breath. 

I'm working on a very short short film about being a novelist, making a script for a third party, and then I've got like a video I want to do about journaling practices for the male gender. Also I've yet to take a formal scriptwriting course, oh the gaps the gaps the gaps free associated test tomorrow gaps glaps claps tapping black shining shoes against angle and angle and angled until someone touched him and he exhaled,

thanks for reading