What you don't hear about filmmaking

If you’re on the fence about whether to try filmmaking, this is for you: 

When I entered film school I found myself on the receiving end of a lecture indicating to me that this kind of work was an end-all be-all. Hard work. Inaccessible. It’s for people who simply can’t do anything else because passion etc. 

I’m sure it was meant to be inspiring, but there’s hardly a lack of the harshly linear, masculine-minded approach to motivation in most fields, even the creative ones. Of course, I still love that approach. It’s hard not to if you’re a hard working person living in the US. But I just wasn’t feeling the lecture. 

It’s not that it scared me away from film, but I was irritating by the sense that it was trying to. It wasn’t for me. It was for people who don’t know that they have to work hard, but I don’t see how hearing they they’ll have to is going to help them. Hard work is its own filter. Delivering a speech like that is usually more for the benefit of the speaker than the listener. 

I say this because it’s that kind of attitude that kept me away from film for so long. It didn’t matter how many resources landed in my lap as long as I heard all this stuff about filmmaking:

>You have to know the right people

>You have no control over your own ideas

>It’s a male dominated meat market

>You can only break in through porn

>You have to meet an agent in LA 

>You have to avoid a lot of sabotage

>It’s too expensive (note that I’m not saying it isn’t expensive, I’m just parroting the judgement that it’s too expensive)

>It’s not worth the time and energy

>Aw, you wanna be a director? That’s so cute! 

>Are you like a writer? Is that a notebook? That’s so cute.

Here are some of the cool things that you don’t hear as often from filmmakers: 

>I get to share a story as I’m making it

>I get to experience leadership from within a group that is united by that story story

>I get to play pretend and/or help others get to play pretend

>I get to buy stuff for my imaginary friends in the story

>I get to meet sensitive, creative people 

>I get to help those sensitive, creative people find their part in the story

>I get to keep a record of me and friends playing pretend to deliver a story

I don’t know what else I can say, here. What could be more fun and healing than telling a story? 

Peace,

Ayah

#DeltaPhiFilm

Props and Boilerplate

Doing stuff you love sure makes you do a lot of stuff you don't love. I hate buying clothes for myself on a good day. But when I need costumes, out comes my wallet and yelp app. 

Getting up early to watch Netflix? Nope. But I'll roll out of bed at 6 AM to write contracts in time for my next shoot. 

I can say I hate these things, but the truth is that I wouldn't and couldn't do them if I didn't care passionately about it. And I care passionately because I have a story to tell and will do whatever I have to to tell it right. 

Most successful people will tell you that hard work is the secret. And that's true. I also have a fair warning: when you love something, people take notice. They know you'll do anything for what you're passionate about it. So don't become a slave to your passion, and don't let anyone take advantage of your energy for their own purposes. Be willing to do stuff you don't like as long as you have a good reason. Who knows, maybe you'll come to love the things you hate. 

Peace,

Ayah

#DeltaPhiFilm

Rehearsals for Delta Phi

Holding rehearsals is one of my favorite aspects of filmmaking. I often can't contain my glee at playing pretend with my colleagues. This isn't usually a problem but as I will be playing one the of leads in Delta Phi, I'm starting to wonder what I can do about it. It doesn't help that the script is funny by my standards (because I wrote it). 

I sort of hit the ground running after Real Boy since I knew I'd have more time and resources for my next project, so I started writing for Delta Phi sometime back in May of this year. Since I'm deeply connected to the subejct matter (it's about people who know they're not real and the woman who writes about them), the concept kept getting really heavy really quick, and humor was my best way to mitigate that. The script even has a sock puppet. 

We're shooting in two weeks and I have to solve this laughter problem, so I do a little research.

Laughter is a release in somatic tension. Our threshold for holding in laughter lowers based on the amount of tension we carry. Writers use this a lot in thrillers and action movies. Pretty much anything that breaks the pace will likely com across as hilarious. 

So I tried yoga. I'm practicing balance. Fixing my gaze on a single point. Breathing into my stomach. All the things that I tell my actors to do anytime we're on set, only now I finally get to hold myself to the same standard. I can manage not to laugh while I'm directing, but being engaged with the action, knowing that you're being observed, it's a different game. 

This past week we just practiced lines and a little blocking. I have yet to annotate the script so we haven't really dug in yet, although I do have concept maps and character sheets done. I'm hoping next week we can do some color coding and notate the tonal shifts with stickers. Time to go back to Office Max. 

It's fun though, I love it. Everytime we're acting it's like something invisible and special fills up the room, something so different from the seeming irrelevance of daily ilfe that it makes me wonder how anyone could want to do anything else besides make stories. 

Peace,

Ayah

#deltaphifilm