and then...linear push

I'm sorry this is two days late, it has never been two days late. It is two days late because of applications and portfolios and four papers due and two tests and incidentals. But I'm making a short film what will be on my my channel soon. I develop a statement of purpose. 

I am complete lack of inspiration these days, because I spent a few catching up for the school, which will not really exist this weekend, it's going to be all making things, so I say in the meantime...work and work more. And dear muse who has been not so supportive: first of all, calm down, and secondly, you're fine. I need to record things. grab a mic or take a hike. :D heh. rhymes. 

my friend last night made a fun of my stress. she said "i can't take it no more i got canker sores..." She's a real poet. Meanwhile I'm setting around wondering why it is that I've never learned a language per week and once I'm outta school I oughtta start. 

I have to go. Busiest week since prep school~

and then...production

is a thing. a noun-thing.

I spent the last three days taking footage for a short film. I've never made a short film but there's a first time for everything. So I did that and I've got to edit it, and schedule a ten hour write in this week, and I'm still full-time studenting and the like. 

Anyway I've relearned sleep again to accomodate my work needs these days. I take frequent naps and sleep very little at night. You do it often enough and you can train your body to sleep and wake exactly when you intend. I used to be perfect at it; still retraining. I take roughly three to five hours of solid sleep at night, and three to six 20 minute naps during the day. I won't need an alarm soon. It keeps me far more active; I haven't needed caffeine in days. 

People expect change by arbitrary means. A new year doesn't mean a new anything on its own. If you want your life to change radically you must be radical. But no, everyone's too afraid and whining about what they're going to lose. If you're yourself and doing what you love you can't possibly lose anything. You just get more space for more things and more people what are better for you. 

Saw The Machinist. It ought to be a graphic novel. Very vintage creepy. I was initially disappointed because it thwarted my expectations, but I have since come to realize that the purpose of the film is to convey a state of mind and it does that flawlessly, I think. I have to see it again. But it got me emoting something fierce and there wasn't a one who would cuddle me. Living where I live is strange. Living is strange. Death is stranger. 

The script from my short film is adapted from my blog posts over the last several months. I will post it here when I've finished the editing and production etc. 

and then...gramophone

sounds in tactility! old record stores and foaming foamy lattes and walking in a cold sun saying, Idunnowuttiwannawritetoday. 

I cleaned my office today. I play songs as little sound bytes. I throw bleach on the floor and many colored foam spraying clarical-clear chemicals. swipewipewipewipewipe lemon scented polish. 

I don't know, what not wanted to say anything too personal. It's a thing, what people wanting to maybe take advantage of me. I love writing arguments. Don't you? First time improv actors often launch into arguments. it's pretty easy conflict/impulsion (by kinetics, heh). It's often unconving, then, but when you work up to it, gee. What a great deal of fun. and ain't right now the only thing there ever is

Back to yellow-colored drafting paper. I don't want to go back to school full-time. What a load of nonsense. I like living. Cooking and cleaning and the like. Having food and being not-sick. It's a cheer. 

I watched A Clockwork Orange last night. All in it is phallic and some things never change *enter heartwarming major chord* And good job with the primary colors, Kubrick. And your lightbulbs everywhere. 

enter social statement. enter opinion presented with a sense of humor. exit. 

theimportantthingtoremember, aboutthesetimeswefindourresearchfocusedon. theysayeverygenerationisuniquebutourgeneration, ourgeneration degenerating

I am not generation. Sihluoette, negative space, I spend money on black and white photographs.