Journal videos

In lieu of production updates and fresh research (most of which I'm hoarding for long term projects), I'm making footage of notebooks, sketchbooks, and processing journals. This means I've reopened the door to youtube! I must admit that the engagement on youtube is incredible, and I feel more productive investing time into short videos rather than daily updates on social media. Deep down, I know that I'm must more invested in the long game. I'm more invested in sharing substantial content the way that I want than wasting time on shallow, albeit frequent, engagement. 

The youtube videos will give you insight into my creative process, my downtime, and the scaffolding behind big works like Delta Phi and Cope Syndrome. I hope you enjoy them! In the meantime, my job search is still on. I'm really excited to be working full time, hopefully soon. On top of which I am seriously enjoying consulting! There's little I enjoy more than helping people one on one. 

metafiction and Dostoevsky novels

This isn't an in depth analysis. I've had migraines this week on account of little blue lights. The easiest news I have worth sharing is that I'm nearly done annotating Dostoevsky's The Idiot in search of metafictive devices, obscure and otherwise.

Some are obvious, like when the narrator makes comments about the story and the nature of stories. Others are more subtle: some characters try to instigate their own denouements and drama, or have long, ironic conversations about the nature of novels. It's adorable. Dostoevsky's writing is rife with spirit, like those TY beanies with the enormous eyes. 

In the coming weeks I'll be on a project sabbatical, focusing entirely on submissions of original work, and the search for a stable day job. That said, I have client work booked in July and I'm grateful to have had my education (and the SeanWes community) behind me to help me stabilize that aspect of my career. 

little bits

The accumulation of little bits, particularly with regard to Van Gogh, generates something other than the sum of its parts. With regard to the paintbrush, a mass made of just bristle and bristle and bristle (for instance).

It's not the sudden ambitions you take on that will have significance. It's the small things over time. Small habits, small considerations, small things made, and even small listenings. It's taken years of watching and listening to others for me to confidently price my time and my worth. It took decades of scrawling and erasing to generate a novel, and not just a novel, but an ease in writing new things. 

The key is not just to develop new things, it's also to develop abilities. This is, in fact, where I have a challenge: when a sustained effort over time does not develop ability AND new content, I get discouraged. The modern sensibility would have us believe that learning to do anything (like how to apply for college or how to do your laundry) is useful, and has universal, applicable lessons, but you have to dig to get them. A lot of lessons are disposable. You learn them quick, they serve their purpose and then there's no point in studying the matter further. Submissions, for instance, discourage me in this way. You learn to do them and then you just keep sending. You can only learn how to take rejection once. Once the lesson is learned, nothing new is gained except more chances and finding a good fit for your work. No skills are sharpened, few new challenges arrive. You just keep sending. 

So if you find something that is sustainable, that is small bits over time, that can help you make things AND develop your skills, keep doing it!