metafiction and Dostoevsky novels

This isn't an in depth analysis. I've had migraines this week on account of little blue lights. The easiest news I have worth sharing is that I'm nearly done annotating Dostoevsky's The Idiot in search of metafictive devices, obscure and otherwise.

Some are obvious, like when the narrator makes comments about the story and the nature of stories. Others are more subtle: some characters try to instigate their own denouements and drama, or have long, ironic conversations about the nature of novels. It's adorable. Dostoevsky's writing is rife with spirit, like those TY beanies with the enormous eyes. 

In the coming weeks I'll be on a project sabbatical, focusing entirely on submissions of original work, and the search for a stable day job. That said, I have client work booked in July and I'm grateful to have had my education (and the SeanWes community) behind me to help me stabilize that aspect of my career. 

little bits

The accumulation of little bits, particularly with regard to Van Gogh, generates something other than the sum of its parts. With regard to the paintbrush, a mass made of just bristle and bristle and bristle (for instance).

It's not the sudden ambitions you take on that will have significance. It's the small things over time. Small habits, small considerations, small things made, and even small listenings. It's taken years of watching and listening to others for me to confidently price my time and my worth. It took decades of scrawling and erasing to generate a novel, and not just a novel, but an ease in writing new things. 

The key is not just to develop new things, it's also to develop abilities. This is, in fact, where I have a challenge: when a sustained effort over time does not develop ability AND new content, I get discouraged. The modern sensibility would have us believe that learning to do anything (like how to apply for college or how to do your laundry) is useful, and has universal, applicable lessons, but you have to dig to get them. A lot of lessons are disposable. You learn them quick, they serve their purpose and then there's no point in studying the matter further. Submissions, for instance, discourage me in this way. You learn to do them and then you just keep sending. You can only learn how to take rejection once. Once the lesson is learned, nothing new is gained except more chances and finding a good fit for your work. No skills are sharpened, few new challenges arrive. You just keep sending. 

So if you find something that is sustainable, that is small bits over time, that can help you make things AND develop your skills, keep doing it!

Delta Phi, Compassion, Cope Syndrome

After coming out of my biggest production yet, I'm finally taking some time to rest, and just to live. I cleaned out my entire closet yesterday. I'm still used to being mentally active for long hours, so I've got dozens of strong new ideas over the last few days. I'm struggling not to write (yet another) new script and trying instead to focus on my other commitments that I set aside during production. 

I'm on the search for a new job and I've got my eye on a part time teaching position at my alma mater. I absolutely love to teach (teaching is learning) and a part time position would give me more time to write and even time to do some volunteer work, which I sorely miss. Most of my volunteering as a teen was for promotion and event planning, so I suppose I could look for work there as well. 

As far as movies and books go, I finally feel like I have a little to stand on. I'm submitting a precious original feature film, and my novel, though harder to sell, is a rare gem brimming with passion and healing words. It feels good to have both Delta Phi and Cope Syndrome under my belt, but I'm never complacent about these things. I have four other creative projects I plan to dip my hands into this year, including the first in a seven part series about Monty...a fictional man whom some of you know. I'm terribly excited to be working with him again!

Anyway, wherever you are in your creative journey, I wish you the best. Step into the path that your creator laid out for you, because it's where you are most effective. If there's anything I've learned from making Delta Phi, it's the critical importance of compassion, forgiveness, and small kindnesses. So if you're not sure where to start in finding your passion, start there. It will come to you.